Funny Sayings

November, 2020

At our thanksgiving meal
D: I'm thankful for <a bunch of serious stuff>
R: I'm thankful for <a bunch of serious stuff>
Ro: I'm thankful for my family. Actually, I'm thankful for everything except bad guys

M: I'm thankful for bunny rabbits. Because they make good pets. 

Listening to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and learning that Mr. Bucket works in a factory to screws caps onto toothpaste tubes. 

M, to Dan: That's just like YOUR job! (remembering that Dad used to stuff enveloped)

At bedtime

M: Dad, where do you go when you die? 
D: whoa, well, nobody really knows. It's kind of like sleep, I guess.  Where do you go when you sleep?
M: Well, I'm in my bed. 

October, 2020

M: Dad, do you know why I'm cleaning these teeth so well? So that when the tooth fairy comes she won't get her wand dirty

May, 2020

M: Mom, do you know if I played with Finley (a neighbor kid) today?
R: No, you didn't
M: How did you know that? 
R: I know EVERYTHING
M: No, you don't know everything
R: Yes, I do! I know everything!
M: Do you know how old Santa is?

R: ...you're right, I don't know everything...

M: Daaad, what's a landlord
Dan gives a lengthy explanation
M: Why is Azula's dad called a landlord? 

D: Ahh, you mean firelord?

April, 2020

M: Mom, do you know what the joy of my life is? 
R: Maple syrup?
M: No, coloring cards for you. 
Ro: Do you know what the joy of my life is? Candy!

M: Well, do you know what the joy joy of my life is? Eating candy!

It is the middle of the night. Mina runs through the house and into our bedroom. She jumps into the bed and whispers:

M: Dad! We forgot to make sweet rolls today!

March, 2020

R: Ro, you are my little bunny rabbit

Ro: No, no I'm not.  I'm a superhero

Ro: I bringed it mom

M: No, it's not bringed, Rowan, it's brung

After I came home late

Ro: Mom, do you fight viruses today?

R: Yeah, I did

Ro: Well, tomorrow when we wake up you should take your sword

Watching parents kiss in The Parent Trap

Ro: They're gonna get germs

At bedtime

Ro: My brain won't let me sleep.  It only lets me take Mina's stuffies. 

February, 2020

Ro: Mooooom I'm hhhhhunnnngrrryyy. I'm starving! 
A pause.
Ro: Mom, what does starving mean?
R: Starving means you're so hungry you could die
A pause.

Ro: I'm so hungry! Mom, I'm dying!

Upon receiving boxes and boxes of Girl Scout cookies
D: Have you ever seen so many Girl Scout cookies? 

M, later: Does Gracie deliver them for everyone? In the whole world? 

January, 2020

Mina put me to bed
M: Don't worry mama, I will do everything! You'll go to sleep, and we'll stay up.
She gets me a brand new glass of water (with ice), gets my pajamas, turns out the light, tucks me in bed, gives me a kiss, gets me a stuffie, and then finds a flashlight to be my nightlight. 
M (stage whisper): Shhhh ROWan! Can't you see mom's sleeping?
She climbs onto the sink and brushes her own teeth (!!)
M: SHHH Rowan!
Then she bangs around and got Rowan underwear and pajamas, and marches downstairs. Talks to Dan, her voice floats upstairs.
M: I'm a real big kid, I even put mom to bed.  Now I am trying to help you do the dishes. 
Ro: I can cook Dad!
The kids thump upstairs a few times and finds me "sleeping." After the third time, Mina turns on the light and reads me a story for the very first time. All by herself!!! 
M: Dad, are you tired? We can put you to bed. We can do all the work. I can actually do all the work.  Except cook or vacuum or drive the car. 
D: ok...

Dan is tucked into bed and all the lights put out. There is general thundering up and down the stairs as she somehow gets into the banana chips and sticks them in bowls for herself and Rowan. 

D: why do you like mangoes so much? 

Ro: I also like tomatoes.  They're my greens. Mina doesn't like tomatoes, but if she doesn't eat tomatoes, she gets ONIONS. 

On the pot, grinning

Ro: There's a frog in my butt